Bride defended for replacing bridesmaid who refused to buy her wedding dress

Bride defended for replacing bridesmaid who refused to buy her wedding dress

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The bridesmaid reportedly complained about having to buy her dress (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

The bridesmaid reportedly complained about having to buy her dress (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A bride was defended for replacing her bridesmaid who refused to buy her dress for the wedding.

In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I The A**hole,” a woman noted that she went dress shopping with her bridesmaids and maid of honor “months ago” because she’s getting married in the fall. After detailing her wedding plans, the woman also opened up about her relationship with her bridesmaid.

“I’ve known my MOH (maid-of-honor) since fifth grade and we were best friends all through high school,” she wrote. “I moved away for college and we grew apart, but I saw her every time I came home.”

She noted that while the dress shop was out of town, she paid for two hotel rooms to accommodate the people who were part of the bridal party. She then described the guidelines bridesmaids had for shopping for dresses and how the event went.

“My only requirement for (the dresses) was that they had to be a specific shade of blue and not a satin material,” the bride continued. “We tried on dresses all afternoon and everyone found one they liked, including my MOH. I heard she picked out a $350 dress, while most of my other bridesmaids had dresses in the $100-$150 price range.”

However, the bride revealed that her MOH later “started complaining to one of the other bridesmaids about having to pay for her dress,” claiming that the bride had to pay for the dresses because she wanted specific dresses. The MOH also pointed out that her friend “didn’t pay for the bridesmaid dress when she was at her wedding.” However, the Reddit user explained that this was because the MOH was turning 18 and they were “wearing old prom dresses that they already had.”

She then explained how the bridesmaid, who was the subject of a complaint by the Department of Health, defended the bride.

“My bridesmaid told her that I was pretty reasonable with my request and that she could get any dress she wanted within her budget. MOH disagreed and the bridesmaid waved her off but told me later,” the post continued.

The bride noted that the Department of Health then asked her to pay for the dress, which was denied because it would not be fair to the other bridesmaids who had purchased their dresses.

“She said she was the MOH and that everyone would understand that it was a privilege she was given. I disagreed and our discussion got a little out of hand. It ended with me saying that if she couldn’t have the dress, she couldn’t be at the wedding, and I didn’t want to get into that,” the bride added.

She noted that she has since been criticized by the MOH’s mother, with claims that she was “very rude not to do this one thing for (her friend) so she can be there” at the wedding. After sharing that she was also accused of not understanding “what it’s like to not have money for things,” she acknowledged how she hit back at the statement, before deciding to replace her MOH.

“I told (my MOH’s mother) that I’ve struggled with this before and that I understand, but said I wouldn’t pay for the dress because it wouldn’t be fair to all the other bridesmaids,” she explained. “I have since made one of my other bridesmaids, who helped with all the planning, my MOH. I told my ex-MOH that she is still invited and sent her an invite.”

She concluded by saying that some family members had told her that she had to pay for the former MOH’s dress because her friend was “strapped for cash.” However, the bride also pointed out that her friend had known for almost two years that she would be part of the wedding, and claimed that the former MOH should have “set aside money” for the event.

The Reddit post has gone viral, with over 3,900 upvotes. In the comments, several people defended the bride’s decision to replace her MOH, agreeing that she shouldn’t have to pay for her friends’ dresses if she’s not paying for the other bridesmaids’ outfits. Others criticized how the now-former MOH chose a more expensive dress than the rest of the group.

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other bridesmaids if you paid for her dress and not theirs,” one wrote. “The most outrageous part is that all of your bridesmaids were given your criteria for dresses and she picked out a $350 dress while the other bridesmaids picked out dresses in the $100-$150 price range. And then she wants you to pay for the $350 dress!”

“Sometimes brides pay for bridesmaids’ dresses. Sometimes they don’t. MOH knew you didn’t and picked a dress that was at least twice as expensive as everyone else’s, then whined that it was too expensive,” added another.

“It’s customary to buy your own MOH/bridesmaid dress so if she can’t afford it to be at the wedding (understandable if money is an issue) then it’s perfectly fine to cover for her,” a third added. “(In my opinion) it was shitty of her to complain to others about the dress when it’s something she could have discussed herself, which makes me wonder if she’s genuinely struggling with money or just doesn’t want to buy the dress. Either way, you made the right decision.”

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